Shortages

What the media has conveniently overlooked is the desperate shortage of homes for sale, which of course is what they were all writing about last week. Market forces will bulldoze HIP issues out of the way.

That still leaves HCR and EPC not accounted for, which is where the tale becomes interesting. This is also a good point at which to remind people that CORGI scaremongering was well out of sync with reality. By twelve months to be precise. No change there, and that was not all they got wrong.

Home Condition Reports

HCR for short. This is a survey similar to a traditional home buyers valuation and report which typically a buyer would lash out on before approaching a lender. Ball park stuff before wasting money on other more focused surveys. There is however a difference.

Reporting will all be electronic thus opening the door for big brother. Your cherished home will be chopped into little bits and those bits transfered painstakingly into spreadsheet or database cells. What I'm waiting to see is what happens when certain bits will not fit into one of the wee cells. It will happen, it always does. That is another law of nature.

As I see it, whoever pays the piper calls the tune. The HCR surveyor is first and foremost working for the seller who gives instructions and of course pays. What I'm also waiting for is evidence of how much confidence lenders will have in HCR, sponsored by a seller. Time will tell.

But there is another problem. According to the Mail on Sunday, "so far only 1000 of the inspectors have been trained - out of a target of 7500".  We have of course known there was such a problem for a long time. Hence that bit of HIP is essentially on hold. Without the bodies, the work will not get done.

Why you must be asking, is there a shortage of Home Inspectors. In an ideal world 7500 Home Inspectors should be merrily preparing to earn a modest crust the same as everyone else. The reality is that people are not as gullible as they once were. As trading standards say, if something looks too good to be true, it probably is. And in this case it is.

Entrepreneurs were targeting HIP long ago. Cartels will by now be firmly rooted and work will be allocated accordingly. Inevitably some Home Inspectors will have lashed out on training only to find themselves denied or working for buttons.

Except of course more and more people are side-stepping agents, as I will be soon, and they could perhaps use freelance Home Inspectors. They can also approach HIP with much greater freedom, within the regulations. I will show you how later.

Energy Performance Certificates

EPC for short. In simple terms your cherished home will be rated like a fridge or boiler. Reduced to a mere letter of the alphabet. Those deemed energy efficient will find a place nearer to A. This work will be carried out by what appears to me to be a new breed of poorly paid people referred to as Domestic Energy Assessors. Unfortunately I missed the point at which they entered the stage, though I have seen advertising.

Those certificates will be mandatory and I suspect that new animal was bred and cloned to help compensate for the lack of Home Inspectors. My understanding was that the Home Inspectors would do everything.

The rationale for the particular emphasis on EPC is that (don't laugh), Mr and Mrs Buyer will be turned off a home they otherwise adore, because of the lack of lagging in the roof space or the infinitely more reliable Glow-worm spacesaver boiler under the stairs.

I don't think so.

Given I cleaned up nicely on December 31st 1999, I own all the green luxuries that should meet with the approval of any Domestic Energy Assessor. Woe betide if they get it wrong or they will be poorly paid. More likely not at all.

Bad news

Own up if you fitted a new plug socket in the kitchen in the last year.  If you did then you have broken the law, even if you work full-time as an electrician. Such work has to be reported to Building Control and if it has not been that will stop the sale of your home. In theory that is and according to CORGI on one of their silly bits of paper.

That principle has been enshrined in law since 1965 when the Building Regulations first appeared. Yes they probably would notice the odd kitchen extension or two. Such has always been the case. The regulations have simply been expanded to include lots of daft bits and pieces. And if big brother is intent on checking all my sockets, big brother will need to be big, to shift the fridge, freezer, washing machine, dish washer (since December 31st 1999) and of course the tumble drier.

As a senior boffin told me at the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister (now Department of Communities), the Home Inspectors will not be on their hands and knees checking serial numbers. Which introduces another theory of mine. Given there are literally hundreds of different boilers on the market, will Domestic Energy Assessors know what is what and is that why they were introduced.

Suppose your buyer does not like the bathroom and re-arranges it. That is also subject to Building Regulation notification.  Will the next Home Inspector know it has been re-arranged. Of course not.  You can't draw pictures in little boxes and for what they will be paid, they won't make time.

DIY HIP

I'm going to take a serious look at DIY HIP. There has been so much publicity that I'm almost there anyway. But I have a guiding light on that front I'll keep to myself for now. Where I can do myself a big favour is by not using an agent which I have only done once anyway.

The trick then is to invite people onto a list of potential buyers before placing the property on sale. Once a list is big enough to guarantee a sale, the time-sensitive bits of HIP can be implemented at the eleventh hour.

I'll let you know how I get on.